Thursday, October 28, 2010

Happy Due Date To Us!

•How far along?: 40 weeks

•How big is baby?: According to What to Expect around 7 to 8 pounds and between 19 and 21 inches. Actual, real baby size.

•Maternity clothes?: Yep, what still fits anyway.

•Stretch marks?: Meh, I'm not worried about it.

•Sleep?: I have good nights and bad nights. Last night was terrible, so maybe tonight will be better.

•Food cravings?: Sweets I guess.

•Labor signs?: Yep. Lots of them. We'll get to that later...

•Belly button in or out?: In. It's not coming out!

•What I miss: Lots of things, but it's OK, it's almost over!

•What I'm looking forward to: Meeting my daughter.

So last night we had our second trip to labor and delivery. I have been having contractions on and off since Monday, and finally yesterday I had a couple that took my breath away. So when the hubs got home off we went. Of course once we get there and I get hooked up to the monitors, the contractions pretty much stop. Just my luck. But they did an internal exam, and I am 1 centimeter dilated, 70% effaced, and at a -2 station, so we are making some progress. They sent me home and told us not to come back until they were 5 minutes apart, and I couldn't walk, talk or breathe through them.

This morning I had my last weekly appointment. My doctor saw in my chart that I had been to L&D, and decided she wanted to do an internal exam herself to see if I had progressed at all over night. Nope. Nothing. Still the same. So she officially scheduled my induction for next Thursday, November 4th (which, by the way, she will not be able to attend, so some random doctor that I haven't met will be delivering my daughter. Nice huh?)

I might add that after coming home from L&D last night I took a shower and attempted to go to bed. This was when I had my first set of contractions that I could actually feel begin, peak, go away, and I could time them. They lasted for about an hour, at about 5 minute intervals. This is when they said to come back to L&D, but I wasn't going anywhere. Which is kind of a good thing since after the one hour, I had another contraction that peaked, and just stayed there. It didn't go away, it just.....stayed. And God did it hurt. I didn't sleep more than 3 hours because I was hurting so much. I tried switching positions, laid on the floor, the couch...everything I could imagine, and nothing worked. So I felt like shit when I "woke up".

After the appointment this morning, Lindsey and I walked around the mall, since it was so hot outside, it saved me from having to walk around the block like I usually do. Once she dropped me off, the pain came back.... I can't sit down without feeling like she is being shoved back up, and I can't stand up without feeling like she is going to fall out. I am in so much pain, and am so uncomfortable. I'm just so ready to have this baby. I'm ready to get to the hospital and get some pain meds. And of course, meet our daughter. I'm sorry if this is jumpy, I'm typing between contractions...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Festive Fall Weekend

Friday was a crappy day. I was an emotional wreck for some reason. I thought the days of random emotion were behind me, at least for the most part, but alas, I was wrong. I sat around all day watching movies and doing a whole bunch of nothing. Cried on and off for the majority of the afternoon waiting around until Chad got home from work. He decided that ice cream would make me feel better, he was right. we stopped off at Dairy Queen on our way to Lindsey and Wesley's house and we got/shared a banana cream pie blizzard. Oh.My.Goodness. It was delicious. We hung out at their house for a while, then headed back home and called it a night.

Saturday we were supposed to get together with everyone and carve pumpkins and such, but the Mr. and Jessica's boo Vann both had to work so we held off until Sunday. For the life of me I cannot remember what happened on Saturday. So if I remember later, I'll come back and edit.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.... It was a good day. Hotter than hell though. Started the day off getting some groceries with the Hubs, came home had a little lunch, watched a little football, then off we went for some punkin' pickin'!

The hubs and I with his pumpkin. Excuse my pregnant fat face. The Mr. said he looks fat in this picture, I almost punched him.

This was my first year carving a pumpkin myself, I was very excited and decided I would carve a baby pumpkin. Jessica G gave me the idea of carving an "A" in honor of Baby Ariana, so that's what I did!

Now I know I mentioned previously that the hubs is a master pumpkin carver, well, here's the proof. He got extra fancy with his, and put us all to shame.

Here are all the final pumpkins, from left to right, My baby A, Hubs' Bat, Wesley's one ear'd pipe smokin' pumpkin, Lindsey's pirate, Jessica's winky face, and Vann's evil angry face.

After all the carving, it was dinner time! We had some Mexican burgers! Me, still trying to get this baby out decided to eat as much spicy stuff as possible. So I had some chips and hothothot salsa, and a burger with the hothothot salsa, and guacamole/jalapeno spread. It was super spicy. Also, there were some sweet potato fries....YUM. The spicy stuff gave me some contractions, but nothing came of it. As usual.
I've got 2 days until my due date, and I really hoped she would come early. By the looks of things, however, it's not looking good. The doctor told me when I have contractions that come every 5 to 10 minutes to go into labor and delivery. Last night, I had 4 in an hour, and I need to have 6 for it to be the real thing. We were so close....maybe sometime this week....I've got a feeling!

Friday, October 22, 2010


So it's only been 2 days since my last post, but I seem to be having blog with drawls. Maybe it's because all of the blogs I follow haven't been very "post happy" this week, I don't know. So here I am, I'll update you all on whats been happening in my life these last 2 days.

Not a whole lot actually. Haha. I've totally given up on trying to get this baby here. I still drink my red raspberry leaf tea, but it's good, and I like it, so I'll continue drinking it until I run out.
I've also been walking. Every.Single.Day. I just walk around the block, it might be a half a mile, maybe, but that could be stretching it.
This baby is going to come when she wants to, I've come to terms with that. As much as it may suck, and as badly as I want to meet her and have an outside baby, I'll wait for her. Unless she doesn't come by November 4Th, then the doctor will force her out...bwahahahaha!

I thought that in the third trimester I would be hit with the "nesting instinct" well, I haven't yet. As far as cleaning goes anyway. I have, however, been a baking fool! I have made brownies twice this week, and today I made some banana bread (it's in the oven right now, and smells delicious by the way). Maybe that's my nesting, I don't know. I keep our place really clean all the time, but I thought I'd be scrubbing the tile with a toothbrush, or pulling out kitchen appliances to clean behind them...nothing. But oh well, the hubs has enjoyed coming home to treats, and I like making him happy. I have the worlds best husband in case I haven't mentioned that previously. *wink.

Tomorrow is the Greene Family Pumpkin Carving Party. I am super excited about this by the way. I love fall. I wish the weather were cooler, and the leaves would change, but alas, that's what you get when you live in Florida, an 85 degree Christmas, and either green or brown leaves. Hubs is a master pumpkin carver so I'll be sure to take some photos to show you.

Back to baby, tonight there will be a full moon. I know it is most likely a myth, but it's OK to hope. And I know, that any nurse will tell you that when there is a full moon, the hospitals are packed (with pregos and weirdos). My back has been killing me today, and I've had a few Braxton Hicks contractions, but nothing serious.....of course.

Anyway... well I'm glad I got to fulfill my blogging needs, and I hope you've enjoyed reading my random thoughts. Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

39 weeks....and a surprise update

•How far along?: 39 weeks

•How big is baby?: According to What to Expect around 7 to 8 pounds and between 19 and 21 inches. Actual, real baby size. Craziness.

•Maternity clothes?: Yep. Pretty much everything.

•Stretch marks?: Meh, I'm not worried about it.

•Sleep?: I have good nights and bad nights. I have gotten up early the last 2 days though, and I've got to admit, I kind of enjoy having a longer day.

•Food cravings?: Meh, honestly nothing in particular... well, sweets I guess.

•Labor signs?: Random contractions, nothing serious yet though.

•Belly button in or out?: In. It's not coming out!

•What I miss: Alcohol.

•What I'm looking forward to: Meeting my daughter.

So today I had my 39 week appointment, at 8:45 this morning might I add. The doctor actually found her heartbeat within the first 5 seconds (after 6 weeks of her taking 10+ minutes to find it) so that made my day a little brighter.

She also told me that if I haven't had her by her due date (8 DAYS...omg) that she will induce me on November 4th. So I could have her as early as today (I can wish right?), or no later than 15 days from today. Two weeks from tomorrow.

It hasn't hit me yet. It still doesn't feel real. I don't think it will until I'm in the hospital bed, hooked up to monitors feeling the contractions. Soon enough I guess.

Anyhow, after my appointment this morning Lindsey and I went to Babies R Us, I was going to pick up the AngelCare Baby Monitor. While we were there, I met a lady who said she had one, gently used that she would sell me for half the price. I was like, um hell yes! Then of course after I give her my address and phone number so she can bring it to me, I think, oh shit, what if she is some sort of crazy baby snatcher, and when she comes to my house she ties me up and cuts me open and steals my baby?! I never think about the dangers until after the fact. So keep your fingers crossed that I don't get killed today, and everything goes well.

Until next time....
Edited to add:
So she came, and went. I got my AngelCare baby monitor for half the price, she didn't kill me, and it is in great condition and still works! Woo! I didn't die, or get ripped off!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I'm baaaack!

My Internet has been wonky for the last 4 days. I didn't realize how much I rely on the Internet for evvvvvverything until I had to go without it. Insert sadface. Anyhow, needless to say, I'm back, thank goodness. I've missed being able to keep up with the blogs I read and I ever made it without knowing what was going on in other people's lives for 4 whole days I'll never know.

Weekend recap.
Saturday was the Step Up and Walk for Down Syndrome walk at Lake Eola. I went with Lindsey, her momma Penny and her friend Liza (I think, pregnancy brain, sorry). It started out as a beautiful day, weather wise I mean. I woke up that morning at 5am, why....I don't know. It was actually chilly when we left for the walk at 9ish. I love fall.

Check out this cutie! This is Nora, she is two and I totally fell in love with her.

So we walked around the lake once, we were almost last in line thanks to none other than myself, I had to stop and pee....surprise, surprise. Then we stood around took a few pictures, and visited with friends and went home.
Here is Lindsey and I with Bullwinkle..poor guy had to be sweating his ass off!

What am I thinking?? I totally forgot about FRIDAY! Derr, sorry I don't know where my mind is today.
Friday I spent the entire day with Miss. Lindsey herself. She picked me up around 11ish...we had big plans. We were going to do anything and everything we could to make this baby come. We started off at a park (by the way, the weather was FREAKING AMAZING) someone told me that swinging can help bring the baby lower into the birth canal, so we swang (if that's even a word lol). Then we had lunch with her dad, who I love just so you know. Olive Garden....YUM. I could eat their soup everyday and never get tired of it. Seriously. After lunch we went to an organic market to pick up some Red Raspberry Leaf Tea (delicious), and stopped off at Publix to get the ingredients to make Labor Cookies. Lindsey made them, I watched. They failed. Maybe it was because we left out an ingredient, or maybe because my child is stubborn...I believe the latter. They are tricky cookies, they look like cookies, smell like yummy cookies and even taste good for the first 10 seconds....then they set your mouth on fire. Lindsey tried one (well half of one) and had to wash it down with milk and cheese. I, being the determined mommy to be ate as many as I could, hoping it would work.

Well, labor cookies, red raspberry leaf tea, swinging, spicy food, nothing worked. She is still an inside baby. Annnd that was Friday.

Back to Saturday....

After the walk I went home and took a much needed nap. Then the hubs and I sat around watching a little football before getting ready to go to Vann and Jess' house for Vann's 25 birthday celebration! We ate some super yummy wings, danced around like lunatics to Justin Bieber, and ate DELICIOUS carrot cake made by Jessica. Sooo goooood. I think I ate more icing than cake though. Sorry I can't rotate it ;)
All in all, Friday and Saturday were awesome. I had a great weekend.
Then Sunday came. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed for some reason, but I had to suck it up and go to work for my last day before maternity leave. So I went, worked, stood around on swollen feet and then left. It was a normal day at work, I wont miss working, but I will miss my paycheck, not that it was much, but still.
So here I am, it's Tuesday, day 2 of official maternity leave, house is clean, laundry is done, dishes are washed and brownies have been what? I guess we'll just wait around for our little one to show up. There will be a full moon on Friday, so maybe that will be the day.
I'm sorry this is so long, I probably could have separated this into 3 posts, but oh well. Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

38 weeks and an update

Okay, so I'm a day early, big deal.

•How far along?: 38 weeks...

•How big is baby?: Big and heavy. Since I wont be getting a growth ultrasound to measure her size before she arrives (thanks sucky OB) I wont know exactly how big/small she will be until I deliver.

•Maternity clothes?: Yep. Everything. I have two nice shirts that I can wear out, and one pair of pants. It's sad. I did have a decent amount of maternity clothes about half way through my pregnancy, but now the things I had to wear, don't fit quite as nice. So I'm pretty limited. :(

•Stretch marks?: It could be so much worse.

•Sleep?: It's hit or miss. Some nights I can sleep just fine, others I'm up every hour on the hour only to wake up and actually get out of bed at 6am.

•Food cravings?: Whatever is currently shown via commercial. Right now, candy corn.

•Labor signs?: I had contractions last night consistently for an hour or so, then nothing. So far today, I've had 2 or 3.

•Belly button in or out?: It's kind of flat. So neither I guess.

•What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach, and caffeine.

•What I'm looking forward to: Going into labor and finally meeting my baby.

I had my weekly appointment today, and I'm not happy with how it went. My OB sucks. I really, really liked her at first, but with each meeting, I like her less and less.

Today I went in, after having contractions last night, and being in so much pain from the baby dropping ready to be induced (haha, I knew it wouldn't happen but a girl can dream right?!) I've known for weeks now that she will not do internal exams to let me know about dilation until I'm either overdue, or am having regular contractions. I know it's really pointless anyway, she'd either tell me that A) I am dilated or, B) I'm not. So I asked about sweeping my membranes, she said no. Thanks doc. Then I asked how long she would let me go overdue before talking induction; she said that if I came in for my 40 week appointment and had no signs of labor we could talk induction and set a date for the following week. So I guess I wont be going over 41 weeks. Thank God, but honestly I would much rather have her now, at 38 weeks.

There are more things I could be trying to jump start my labor, but I guess I'm just lazy. Things I haven't tried;

Evening Primrose Oil

Spicy Food

Castor Oil (eww)

Olive Oil

Pineapple and

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

I don't want to do Castor oil, seriously I would rather not have to deal with diarrhea before going into labor. The tea, I would try if there was a Whole Foods Store near us, alas, there isn't. I've heard you have to eat 7 whole pineapples for that old wives tale to work, and that's just too much. I'm hoping to have some spicy wings this weekend if little lady hasn't made her arrival. I've also been walking everyday, and doing squats. The Mr. suggested I do some jumping jacks, but I'm not sure if that's safe, so I'll have to ask Dr. Google. Please, please send me some labor dust, I'm begging you...

I'll leave you with my 38 week bump picture.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pain Pain Pain

Today, my darling child dropped a little more. It's hurts! It's painful to stand, to walk, really to do anything other than sit (I haven't tried to lie down yet, so we'll see how that goes).

I have an appointment tomorrow and I plan to bring up induction. Now, I know what you're thinking, "You're not even 40 weeks yet! Wait it out!!!" Well I have 2 words for you....SHUT IT! You don't understand that pain I'm in these days. Now that she has really dropped I feel like she will fall out at any minute. Not to mention my swollen feet, ankles, fingers, face, my aching back, and my inability to sleep. Okay, I'm done complaining....sorry about that mini vent.

Anyhow, I'm afraid my doc will shoot down any hopes I have of an induction. To be quite honest, I don't really want to be induced if I can help it. I hear that pitocin contractions are way more intense than natural ones, and it also makes your chance of having a c-section much higher (and we all know I don't want one of those). Ask me this if I'm still pregnant in 3 weeks (please God don't do that to me). My doctor kind of sucks sometimes. She wont give any internal exams to let me know if I am dilated until I am past due (which makes me think she's not down with inductions) she's also really sucky at answering questions. My last couple appointments she has really rushed, I'm sorry but I am just as important as your other patients; give me the time I deserve please!! I will also find out tomorrow if I am positive or negative for Group B Strep, fingers crossed for negative!! And, if I remember, I'll try to get a flu shot.
I'll let you know what happens probably on Thursday when I do my 38 (squee!) week update!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Super pukey

ughhhhhh. I just tossed my corn pops. I love that cereal, I do, so I'm pretty disappointed.

Is this a sign of early labor? God, I hope so. I'm so ready to meet this baby. A friend that was due a week before me had her baby this past weekend. I'm extremely jealous. My time will come...blah blah blah....

But seriously, I'm not feeling well all of a sudden. Everything was fine, I was sitting here catching up on some blogs, and BAM! I run to the bathroom and puke... over, and over and over. Of course I run to Dr. Google, if you will, and look it up, and for a lot of people vomiting is a sign of early labor. SQUEEEE! How exciting. We shall see. I'll let you know.

I'll leave you with a few pictures of my first baby, my fur baby Mordecai.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sleep is for pansies

That's right. I said it. Sleep is definitely for the weak. I don't need sleep. I can sleep when I'm dead. HA! I don't know what is going on lately but I have not been able to fall asleep to save my life. It's become really depressing, but maybe it's my body or mind or whatever preparing me for what life will be like when baby A gets here. I "go to bed" around 11 or 12 every night, and there I am, snuggled all comfortable in my blankets all cozy, and I then proceed to toss and turn for hours. Now when I say hours, I really mean it. It's been 3:30, 4am before I've actually fallen asleep lately. How do I know this you ask? Why, that's because I'm getting up every hour, on the hour to pee. Yes, don't forget I am in my ninth month of pregnancy and this kid weighs somewhere around 6+ pounds. When you have something that heavy just sitting on your bladder, let alone jump, and randomly headbutt you in the middle of the night, you learn it's either get up and go now, or there's going to be a mess to clean up on your totally awesome and comfortable bed. But I digress.

Saturday turned out to be quite nice, surprisingly enough. Lindsey and I made plans to go to the Winter Park Autumn Art Festival with her momma. We wanted to look around at the art neither of us could afford, and try to walk this baby out of me. This meant me getting up early. Now I should let you know, that I wake up naturally everyday. I don't set an alarm, I just sleep. I've been loving it, but like I mentioned earlier, nowadays it's essential since I'm not falling asleep until the early morning hours. So after falling asleep at 4:30 in the morning, I then had to wake up at 8:30. Yep, that's right...I got a whopping 4 hours of sleep. Was I tired? Yes. Was I going to make the best of it? Yes. Did I? Hell yes I did. The Mr. stopped at the store, and I grabbed a coke to boost my energy level. It seemed to do the trick.

We left for the festival, I don't know, about 10 or 10:30, it was nice out, (being that this is Florida) but it could have been a tad cooler. Believe me when I say there was not a cloud in the sky. Freaking beautiful day. I wore jeans, because sometimes I'm an idiot. Plus, I had to work later that afternoon and just wore what I was going to wear to work (which these days is limited since I see no point in buying more maternity clothes to wear for another 2 weeks or so). It was crowded and I was sweating, so after we finished walking the festival, which didn't take long, we went into the Gap so Linds and her mom could do some shopping. They shopped, I cooled off. It.Was.Wonderful. Then it was lunch time...Panera. Yum.

I am trying to start taking more pictures but I always seem to find reason not to bring my camera. I'm sure that will change when Miss. A arrives. So I have no photos to share with you of my journey in the land of fake boobs and expensive cars.

So all in all, even on 4 hours of sleep, sweating my pregnant ass off, dodging rude people cutting me off in the sea of people, I had a wonderful time. I was in great spirits, with great company, on an absolutely beautiful day.

I promise, promise, promise to start taking and sharing more photos with you!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

37 Weeks! Full-Term!!

•How far along?: 37 weeks...

•How big is baby?: The size of a watermelon. Around 6 and a half pounds and 21 inches long. Give or take a little.

•Maternity clothes?: Almost everything. Sadly I'm down to one pair of maternity jeans that fit, but luckily I'll have an outside baby before it gets too chilly; hopefully anyway, it's been really nice out, so I know the cold is right around the corner. Finding it hard to believe we're in Florida...but I'm not complaining.

•Stretch marks?: ::Raises hand:: Yep, but it could be so much worse.

•Sleep?: Last night wasn't fun, keep reading to find out why...

•Food cravings?: Whatever is currently shown via commercial.

•Labor signs?: Nothing. Unfortunately.

•Belly button in or out?: Innie. It's not coming out!

•What I miss: My pre preg body and weight, being able to shave easily, and the parts of my body I can no longer see. Being able to get up easily, and not peeing 100 times a day.

•What I'm looking forward to: Meetin my beebee!!

Well folks, we've made it. As of today we are full-term. This means that if baby A were born now, all of her organs would be functioning well enough that she would make it outside my womb. I have to admit, this pregnancy has been a breeze, and I honestly can't complain (with the exception of crazy, raging hormones in the first trimester) but I'm to the point NOW where I'm just ready. I'm heavy, tired all the, hot constantly, it's hard to get up from the seated position or lying down...I could go on and on. Honestly, I'm just ready to meet our baby. So i'll keep the complaining to a minimum.

Anyhow, on to my lack of sleep last night. Ugh. The Mr. and I got in bed at midnight (after of course watching Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report) hubby was tossing and turnng, and coughing about every 5 minutes or so. He drank some water hoping that would fix it, it didn't. So he decides around 1 that the ceiling fan is the cause of his cough. So he turns it on it's lowest, quietest setting.
Now, normally this would not be an issue, but I CANNOT sleep without some sort of noise; the fan is the perfect amount of noise to put me right to sleep. This solves the Mr.'s coughing problem and he is sleeping within 15 minutes. His lovely wife on the other hand, not so lucky. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, I decided I would take a sheet, go into the living room, turn the fan on full blast and pass out on the couch. Awe, sweet, sweet sleep. 2 hours later my lovely cat Mordecai decides he doesn't want me to sleep anymore, so he begins to meow...constantly, until I get up, and go back into the bedroom. My cat is a spoiled brat sometimes.
By now it's 4am. I'm exhausted, and cranky. Of course Mordecai follows me into the room, jumps on the bed again, and again, and after kicking him off over and over I finally get up and lock him out! I toss and turn and fall asleep for maybe another hour until the hubs wakes up to get ready for work. As he is kissing my goodbye, I ask him to "please, for the love of God turn the fan on high, and keep that damn cat out of here before I kill him!!" It is now 6:30am and I sleep blissfully, uninterupted until 11:30 when I wake up. Needless to say, I'm a bit tired today, but I'm sure it's good practice for when A arrives...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I did it!

I promised myself I would walk or do some sort of exercise everyday in my 3rd and final trimester. Well....I've been slacking. I started out okay, but then it just kind of went downhill. Then last week the Mr. and I decided we were going to walk/run (he'd be running, I'd be walking) the lake everyday of the week. Well those plans went to hell and back when it rained last week. So we would attempt to do it this week. Well wouldn't ya know, the Mr. was scheduled to work nights Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday he gets home around 4am and he shows me this;

That's right folks; he dropped a 25lb piece of pipe on his poor little pinky toe. Thank God it's not broken, and according to him, it doesn't hurt as bad as it did, which makes me happy. I was a good little wife, and mom-to-be yesterday when he didn't have to work, I made him keep it elevated and keep ice on it. Poor thing. So who knows when we will be going around the lake together. At this rate, baby A may be here before we get to go. Anyhow! Today, the Mr. called to tell me he would be working late, and wouldn't be home until 9pm. So I decided that since it was SO nice outside (HELLO FALL!) I would walk to the grocery store and pick up a few things we needed. So that's just what I did. It took about 30 minutes, not too bad if you ask me! I can't get over how nice it is outside. I almost forgot we live in Florida.
Now lets just see if I can keep this up.

Monday, October 4, 2010

We're ready.

Well, we have an exciting few weeks ahead of us folks. In as little as 3 weeks I will have a brand new baby, here, with me, at home, to take care of, to raise, to teach, to love, and hopefully to not fuck up. I say "as little as" when really she could come at any point now and be perfectly healthy, ready to go. She will be full term in 3 days.

It seems like yesterday I got my big, fat positive from peeing on a stick. Well, some days it feels like yesterday, other times I feel I've been pregnant forever. I actually think it went by a lot faster than I've let on. It seems like it dragged on, when in reality it has flown by. In a couple of weeks (at the most) I wont be pregnant anymore. I wont get to feel her move around in my belly. I wont get to watch my belly jump when she has the hiccups. I wont be the only one who gets to bond with her 24 hours a day. I'm a little sad that it's coming to an end, but I'm so ready to meet her.

I can't wait to see what she looks like, how she smells, what her personality will be like. Will she be like me, or like her dad? Will she be a good baby? Will she sleep through the night at an early age, or stay awake all night for the first year of her life? Will she be a big baby, or will she be little? Will she be quiet or will she scream at the top of her lungs at all hours of the day? I don't know. These are all things that I wonder on a daily basis. I'm ready to meet her... to have my questions answered.

I worry about labor. How will I do? Does it really hurt as badly as everyone says? How high is my pain tolerance? I would absolutely love to give birth to her naturally, with no drugs, but I honestly doubt I'll be able to do that. I would love to be able to get up and walk around as soon as shes made her arrival. I will do what I can as far as lasting through the pain before I get the epidural. Maybe I'll surprise myself and be able to do it. You never know. However, I will NOT be disappointed in myself if I'm unable to do it naturally. My plan all along has been to get an epidural, so I'll let you know what happens in the end.

Post par-tum also scares the shit out of me. The healing part. I can only imagine how much pain I will be in. OUCH. To quote Look Who's Talking I'm going to be "pushing something the size of a watermelon out an opening the size of a lemon." Again, ouch! I know it will be worth it, and I'll be home constantly to heal, but then again there's all the gross shit that happens....yeah I don't want to get into that right now.

What if I have to have a c-section? Not being able to hold her as soon as she makes her appearance. After carrying her around for 9 months, I want to hold her in my arms as soon as possible. Before anyone else. Call me selfish, I don't care. Then I'd have to get stitched up, and all that jazz while she gets whisked off to the nursery to get cleaned up, and Chad would leave me to be with her. I don't want that. I want the 3 of us to spend the first moments of her life together. Daddy, mommy, baby bonding. Not daddy, baby, and nurse bonding while mommy is on the other side of the hospital getting wheeled to recovery. Then there's that...recovery. After they cut me open and mess around with my guts only to shove them back in. I'm sure that doesn't feel good afterward. Would I even be able to stand up straight? I doubt it. Anyhow, we shall see what happens.

All in all, I'm really excited. I can't wait to be a mom. I can't wait to be a family. I can't wait to meet our daughter. I really hope she comes sooner than we expect. So feel free to send labor dust our way. <3